


Cumbersome and Heavy Body

by hailmaries



Series: Dimi/Leth Porn Series [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fights, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Major Character Injury, Makeup Sex, POST GRONDER FIC, so much pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23102614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailmaries/pseuds/hailmaries
Summary: “I came back for you. To fulfill the promise that you fucking made five years ago. I showed up for you!” Dimitri failed to conceal a wince as he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “You made me believe you died. I saw you fall into the canyon. I had to come back to see it for myself. I escaped from the Imperial prison for you! Dedue died for my delusions of you!” He stood and walked to the fireplace, putting a hand on the mantel.“So, now that’s my fault?” Byleth’s eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill. She did not want him to see her come undone.post gronder where dimitri is not-feral-anymore
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Dimi/Leth Porn Series [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1535282
Comments: 2
Kudos: 96





	Cumbersome and Heavy Body

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is. Two months too late and very lackluster. I could blame the sparse updates on influenza (which I've become,,,,, very intimate with lately), or on writer's block. But, alas, I am just,,,,,lazy. 
> 
> This is mostly dialogue with no real plot anchor besides what happens in canon, but do not let that stop you from reading. 
> 
> Thank you all so very much for reading, commenting, and making kudos to this fic, and thank you to the OGs who have stuck around with me until this very bittersweet end.
> 
> Spoilers for post-gronder death, that's about it :)))

Edelgard had retreated. Byleth feared the look in Dimitri’s eyes as he ordered her former students to stay back and keep fighting. They were  _ so close _ , and yet…

Byleth heard the pounding stomps of a horse in the distance. Rodrigue came through the fog, she noticed he was sweaty and short of breath. Rodrigue spared her a glance before turning his attention to Dimitri. “Your Highness! You’re alive! We have to retreat to the Great Bridge.”

Dimitri snarled as he looked in the direction of Edelgard’s retreat. “That woman… We failed to capture her. I will keep pursuing. The rest of you,  _ keep fighting _ !”

“We  _ cannot  _ do that, your Highness. I understand how you feel, but the Imperial army is closing in!”

Dimitri spat blood as he retorted. “I’ll kill all of them! No matter how many hundreds or  _ thousands  _ of them there are!” He pulled Areadbhar from the ground, dirt flinging up with it.

His rage was both encouraging and fearful. Byleth had seen it a million times and more, but she had never prepared for the day when Dimitri would finally have his revenge.

Byleth noticed a young girl behind Dimitri. Pigtails separated her hair, and her bows were immaculate. She had blood on her face, and she looked  _ so  _ familiar. Byleth’s stomach sank as an agonizing feeling about the girl gripped her.

Rodrigue noticed her second. “You! What are you doing here? It’s too dangerous for a little girl. Fall back,  _ now _ !”

The girl laughed, the deep laugh of someone hell-bent on revenge. Byleth knew it all too well. “Have I caught you off guard, Your Highness?”

_ No, no. This wasn’t supposed to happen _ , Byleth thought. 

Byleth’s hand tightened around her sword, but she was not prepared for the girl’s speed. In a blink, she was upon Dimitri’s back, stabbing a small blade repeatedly into his flesh. The sounds of the world faded as Byleth’s vision whited. Rodrigue’s voice was muffled, Byleth feared the worst. She was prepared to lose Dimitri, but not like…

Without even thinking, Byleth made a desperate attempt to stop the girl, and she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Byleth supposed the adrenaline compensated for her lack of training in the recent weeks.

Perhaps it was fear, anger--no,  _ rage _ \--that made Byleth’s decisions for her. Rage forced her legs to  _ go _ . She wanted to make the girl hurt. Byleth wanted to see her bleed.

Rodrigue beat her to the punch, quite literally. Before the girl could get another blow in, the older man rushed to shield Dimitri’s body with his own, taking the girl’s knife in his chest. Byleth had read about noble sacrifice in books before, but she had never seen it quite like that. The sight shocked her all the same.

The girl didn’t matter anymore, only her death Byleth desired. She quickly dispatched the girl with a sword through her stomach, pulling it out of her with a sickening noise. Byleth left the girl to die, muttering to herself with her dying breaths. Who she was mattered not--her actions spoke for her.

Byleth saw Dimitri’s shock break into desperation as Rodrigue fell to the earth.

“ _ Rodrigue _ !” Dimitri cried. He rushed to the man as he bled.

“Your Highness, are you safe? Please...tell me it wasn’t in vain.” He coughed bubbling blood. 

Dimitri tore Rodrigue’s chest plate off in a desperate attempt to look for a wound, disregarding his own. He wanted to  _ fix _ Rodrigue. There was too much blood, and time was running out. 

_ Too much blood.  _

_ Too much blood. _

“Why...Why did you do that?” Dimitri choked on his words as he sobbed into Rodrigue’s bleeding chest. “This punishment… It was  _ mine _ to bear!”

Rodrigue looked at Dimitri with fading eyes. “No, my boy. There,” a painful breath, “are no sins or punishments on the battlefield.”

Dimitri. Byleth had never heard a sound so painful. Dimitri’s very soul tore to shreds before her eyes, and she could do nothing to stop it from coming undone. “No! Don’t die! Please!” It was the beg of a man who had lost everything. “ _ Please _ .”

Dimitri did not break quietly. Every cell in his body shrieked in unison. Byleth did not know how to reverse it. 

Byleth sank to her knees in a pit of blood and mud, unable to do anything to ease the pain of her king or her comrade, and cried. The first time she cried was when Jeralt died. She didn’t know the meaning of the word emotional until his death forced her to experience what it meant to be alive.

“Father, Stepmother, Glenn… They all died and left me behind.” Rodrigue’s breath slowed to an uneven pace. Death was surely imminent. “Rodrigue, are you to join the ghosts who shadow my every move?” Dimitri’s shoulders dropped. “This is my fault. I-I am the one who killed you, as surely as though I had wielded the blade!”

Rodrigue’s face softened as he laughed bitterly. “Your Highness, you have one thing terribly wrong. None of them...us...died for you. I’m dying for what I believe in--just as they did.” He lifted a hand and placed it on Dimitri’s bloodied face, the fatherly gesture of a dying man. “Listen to me, Dimitri. Your life is your own. It belongs to no other, living or dead.” Rodrigue coughed. Byleth was reminded of a dying animal, caught in a trap. The sound was similar and familiar to her. “Dimitri, my boy. You really do look just like His Majesty…” His eyes moved slightly past Dimitri, focusing on no one thing in particular. He took one final, shuddering breath as he spoke. “Lambert. My promise...I…”

Rodrigue’s hand fell from Dimitri’s face as he died.

The battle raged on around them. 

The days following Rodrigue’s death were shrouded in sorrow. A fog laid low on Garreg Mach, and everyone felt it. Dimitri had been in the infirmary, being cared for and coddled by Mercedes and Manuela. They were awarded this luxury. Dimitri was okay, she had heard. A clear state of mind, little to no bloodlust.

They said he was repentant. Byleth could have laughed.

It was two days’ journey back to the Monastery from Gronder Field to recoup losses. Many good men and women were lost. Rodrigue among them.

Felix had been a mess. Fraudarius nobility had come to see Felix take his father’s stead, though he was having none of it. He had locked himself away, but Dorothea was by his side. Byleth took solace in that, at least. 

There was little else on her mind than seeing Dimitri as she made her way over to the infirmary. The moon high overhead, she looked up, tracing the stars with a finger.

Dimitri laid in the bed, his chest bandaged. It was strange, seeing him unarmored. He looked like a man, then. Not the animal he had been masquerading as for the past six years. He had not noticed Byleth come in, but Mercedes did.

“Oh, Professor,” she said softly, walking to the threshold.

“How is he?” Byleth asked, not meeting her eyes.

“Stable. His wounds have almost healed. He will be okay in due time.” The kind healer turned around to look at Dimitri on the bed. “Though the mental scars are another ordeal entirely.”

“I should suspect as much.” Byleth turned to Mercedes, nodding. Though she had not spent too much time with her, Byleth knew of her selflessness. “Thank you, Mercedes.”

Mercedes never took her eyes off Dimitri. “He asked for you, you know.”

Byleth jerked her head back. “Did he?”

With a nod, Mercedes walked past Byleth. “Perhaps it would be best if you two spoke, alone.” She smiled warmly. “I will say he is not accepting visitors.”

And she was gone.

The air felt cold. It sapped her confidence.

Before she could speak, Dimitri turned his head to meet her stare. His eyepatch was nowhere in sight, revealing mangled scar tissue over where his eye formerly was. Byleth walked toward her king, never taking her eyes off of him. The chair next to him squealed as she pulled it under her.

Byleth noticed his eye was brimming with water, threatening to spill. “It should have been me.” He blinked slowly, letting the stream fall down the sides of his face. “ _ Why wasn’t it me _ ?” His hands balled, holding them tightly over his face. It was raw, a display of petulant anger and grief. “And you,” he laughed, dryly. “I hurt you. Byleth, I-”

Byleth’s face fell as she picked his hand up from his side. He was cold despite the crackling fire in the stone pit. “Dimitri, what we did--”

“No, listen to me.” Dimitri pulled his hand back. He flinched as if she had been the one who stabbed him. “You should not be around me. I can’t--” He exhaled sharply. “I took what I wanted from you. And just...just  _ left  _ you.”

“Do you not remember?” Byleth asked. “It was  _ I _ who came to  _ you _ . I knew full well the risks.”

“But it was  _ I _ who took advantage of your vulnerability.” He looked disgusted, a horrified expression etched into his features. “I cut your fucking  _ hair _ for Goddess’s sake!”

Byleth laughed incredulously. “ _ My hair _ ? It is just hair, Dimitri!”

Dimitri’s voice rose as he spoke. “I am a  _ monster _ . I can never be forgiven for the atrocities I have committed against you.”

“You can’t seriously believe that.”

“But I  _ do _ !” Dimitri’s voice rose to just below a yell. “When I was imprisoned, everyone I cared for died. Everyone who had helped me escape. Anyone who had given me food, anyone who had given me just a  _ little _ more than a thimble of water, they were executed. That woman on the throne murdered them for helping me!” He threw his hands up, palms out. Pleading. “Don’t you get it?”

A sneer cut through Byleth’s top lip, engraving disbelief onto her features. “I don’t, Dimitri. Fucking enlighten me.”

He was angry. Hurt.

But so was she.

“I came back for _ you _ . To fulfill the promise that  _ you  _ fucking made five years ago. I showed up for  _ you _ !” Dimitri failed to conceal a wince as he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “You made me believe you died. I saw you fall into the canyon. I had to come back to see it for myself. I escaped from the Imperial prison for  _ you _ ! Dedue died for my delusions of  _ you _ !” He stood and walked to the fireplace, putting a hand on the mantel.

“So, now that’s  _ my  _ fault?” Byleth’s eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill. She did not want him to see her come undone.

“I wanted to kill you!” He wailed, turning around. “Every time you came to me, you reminded me of  _ her _ ! Every time I caused you to come within an inch of your life, I imagined it was  _ her _ !” His teeth were bared, his mouth in a terse line. “Every time I wrapped my hands around your throat, I  _ needed _ to squeeze just a  _ little bit more _ !” His hands were claws, gripping the air as if to show her what he should have done. Wanted to do.

“That doesn’t fucking scare me!” Byleth screamed. “Death does not phase me, Dimitri!”

“You came back for  _ more _ , every time. What were you thinking? You have this...this god-complex! Like you need to  _ fix  _ broken people!”

“I am surrounded by death every day! My very birth brought death! I am not afraid of you because  _ you are not broken _ .”

“ _ I can’t _ ,” Dimitri howled, his voice cracking. “I can’t!  _ I can’t _ !”

“You  _ can’t _ \--” Byleth mocked, humorless.

“I can’t do it!  _ Why do you even want me _ ?” Spit flew from his teeth, sharp, jagged points. He looked wild. And raw. He broke.

Shattered, really. All of his sins came to fruition. 

Byleth supposed, so did hers.

“Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd,” she said measuredly, standing up from her chair. Tears freely fell down her cheeks, staining the front of her dress. “You are such a fucking  _ idiot _ .” Standing in front of him, she could feel the combined heat of his body and the fireplace. “You want me to say that I hate you. You need me to give you a penance.” Byleth’s gaze was steadfast, even as tears burned her eyes. “You have suffered enough. There is  _ nothing _ you have done to deserve punishment.” Instinctively, Byleth reached up and cupped Dimitri’s face. His eye fluttered shut as breath escaped his lips.

“Byleth, I--”

She exhaled, impatient. “Shut up.”

Dimitri opened his eye, looking between Byleth’s for some semblance of hate or loathing. He would find none. 

Byleth felt a hand on her face, wiping away her tears. She leaned forward and put her forehead against Dimitri’s.

Their lips met for what felt like the first time. It was slow, hesitant, but quickly snowballed into assurance. Dimitri fingered the soft material of her nightgown as if he were unsure of what she wanted. This was new territory, Byleth realized, for both of them.

The sheer material was removed quickly. This felt different, it  _ was _ different. She sighed as the ghost of his fingertip brushed against her side. “It’s okay,” she whispered against his lips, “go ahead.” 

A hand squeezed her breast, the rough pad of his thumb trailing across her nipple. Byleth sighed and shivered.

Dimitri’s back was led to the cot, and Byleth was careful of his injuries. She straddled him, feeling his hard cock beneath her crux. She blindly reached between her legs to undo the laces at the front of his trousers, letting them fall open and release him.

“Byleth, we can--,” Dimitri tried, sensing her urgency.

“No,” she gasped, sliding against his hardened length, “let me have this.”

The thick head of his cock pressed against her entrance. Dimitri’s eyes begged for something she couldn’t put her finger on. With one swift motion, Byleth was flush against Dimitri’s lap. She moaned deeply and heard a bit-back groan from the man beneath her.

She set her hands to his chest, careful to avoid his wounds. Dimitri wrapped his hands around her wrists warningly, as if she didn’t realize where his wounds were. They were removed quickly in favor of her hips, ebbing and flowing on him.

“You are so lovely,” he whined, looking at her through half-lidded eyes.

She stalled, staring at him in surprise. Byleth had never...never expected--no, never  _ desired  _ to hear it from anyone, least of all the Mad King. But hearing it from his lips brought tears to her eyes and a newfound beat to her heart.

When he saw her teary surprise, he smiled. “I’ve never said it, but I will say it more if you’ll give me the chance.”

Byleth cried as she realized, for the very first time, that she was in love with Dimitri. Even then, as she rode him to climax. He had never left her mind--always there if not physically, mentally. She always felt his rough hands on her skin days after they had fucked.

She was in love with Dimitri, and she could not believe she had only then realized it.

She fucked him through her own orgasm, which tore into her body, leaving her gasping and whining, fat tears streaming down her face.

Byleth hoped, for a brief and fleeting moment, that he loved her too.

Dimitri’s hands went up and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Beautiful. I will never stop saying it.”

“I feel like such a fool,” she laughed, wiping her tears quickly. “Crying after sex.”

“That was not sex, love, that was...more,” he said, helping her off of his lap and laying her at his side. “You bared a part of your soul to me...and--and I, you.”

“How did this happen?” Byleth said to no one in particular, still coming off her orgasmic high.

"We hated each other," he said, "and yet we got along when I was inside of you."

“I never hated you," Byleth whispered, almost too quiet for Dimitri to hear.

Dimitri craned his neck, getting a better side view of Byleth. “Never?”

“Well,” she gave, “there was always something like disappointment. The ‘what could have been’s, but… Not hate. Never hate.” 

The fire popped in the fireplace, causing the logs to tumble around, but she felt no loss of heat. The room was silent, save for their shared breaths.

Byleth had spent many nights in this room with Manuela, mostly drinking and enjoying each other’s company. This infirmary had seen death and heartbreak. It had many ghosts and spirits to hold onto those dark memories. On the other hand, it held life, birth, and love. The spirits were calmed, for then. Byleth had many pleasant memories in this room, and she was certain they had just made another.

Byleth held a strand of Dimitri’s hair between her fingers. “We should really do something about this hair. Not fit for a king.”

“Does my title scare you?”

“Does it scare  _ you? _ ”

Dimitri hummed. “A little. To be honest, I...didn’t plan this far ahead. I didn’t plan... _ not _ dying on the battlefield. I didn’t plan on  _ you _ , on life having real  _ meaning  _ other than this path for revenge I’ve chosen.” He looked at Byleth expectantly. “Where do we go from here?”

Byleth scanned the room, looking for his answer. “Well,” she said measuredly, slowly. “If there is going to be a ‘we,’ if you are serious--”

“More serious than I’ve ever been. If--If you’ll have me, that is.”

She smiled, assured. “Where do we go from here? Tonight, we sleep. Tomorrow, you get the joyous duty of addressing our troops with the war plan.” She frowned and cast her glance to the fire, dying in the pit. “I had forgotten the war still rages. I had hoped--”

Dimitri wrapped an arm tighter around her. “As did I. Though, tonight? We rest as you said. Tomorrow has it’s own troubles.”

Byleth smiled and settled into his side, comforted by the steady drum of his heart’s beat.

Drifting away, though it made its way into her waking dreams, Byleth heard Dimitri say that he loved her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you. Thank you for sticking with this story from the start to this end, the only one I could write satisfactorily. I might update with an epilogue, but it is more likely than not to just sit in my docs folder on my computer, half-written. Maybe I'll get around to it someday.
> 
> Please catch up w me on twitter @hailmaries. Tweet me, DM me! Do whatever makes you happy! Just never stop being you <3 I love you all very much.
> 
> Thank you!


End file.
